Manic, Depressed…Damn

Question:

Thanks, TK…   I appreciate everything….especially the hugs.  I need all the hugs I can get right now.  :)      {{{{{{TK}}}}}}     Having a little bit of a hard time, but I’m dealing with it, ya know. I got my feelings hurt a little when Barbara didn’t respond to my post. Silly as hell, I know, but I guess I was trying to help. I saw where she replied to the others but not to mine and I was the first one to reply to her post I believe. That just all goes back to my not feeling "good enough" for others I suppose. But I’ll be ok. Maybe she’s planning on posting and just hasn’t or maybe she wants to write to me personally and hasn’t had time…who knows… I just need to cool my jets. Hell, maybe she won’t write at all…maybe I need to stop worrying about it and try to help more than just her!!! See, it’s silly shit like that….that I get so hung up over and caught up in. And I realize that it doesn’t even really matter!!! As long as she gets help from someone…ya know???  UGH, that’s why I hate this disease!!! Anyway…thanks again for understanding and listening to my May Angels Watch and Keep You, AmysAngels

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "AmysAngels" wrote > Ya know I’m getting the feeling that I’m manic AND depressed at the same > time! What a freakin’ concept, huh? I’m not really sure that’s what it is, > but it’s the ugly face of mania that makes me frustrated, disappointed, > disgusted, irritable, and even violent if something strikes me just the > right way, and I know that either when I’m on my way down toward > depression > or if I am on my way up from a deep, suicidal depression I always get > these > same exact feelings. So I guess I’m equating them with depression when in > reality they are stemming from the mania instead. > Yeah as several other people already have mentioned this sounds like > classical mixed episodes… I have them too – the agitation is terrible… > (( > {{{{{{{ amy }}}}}} > The reason they are stemming from the mania is because I can’t get my > brain > to slow the hell down for NOTHING!!!!  My house is an absolute wreck and > all > the little people in my mind want me to do something different. The > biggest > problem is that they all want me to do it all at the same freakin’ time!! > My > brain’s going so fast it’s like I took an overdose of speed and God didn’t > see it fit for my heart to explode over it, so my gray matter is paying > the > price for it!!! > I get this intense extreme turbo feeling, mind racing, cant slow down, > agitated energy crawling up and down my skin, feeling like I’m overloaded > electrically. Cant sit still, want to rip my hear out, bang my head against > the wall. Talk talk and talk, move around, twich. Irritated, agitated > frustrated. It’s so f*cking painful ( I know how you feel hon… ( > {{{{{{{ amy }}}}}} >  I’ve known I was bipolar > since I was 16 and I was misdiagnosed by a  psychiatrist whom I’d been > seeing from the age of 16-26..which is my current age. He assumed (because > depresstion ALONE is his specialty and I’m sure he was just hurtin’ for my > money!!) that I was just depressed and no future underlying problems > needed > to be dealt with. So when I told him that I thought I was bipolar at 16 he > totally shot that into the water and that was basically the end of it > until > recently. Anyway, I’m glad that I have a diagnosis that I can at least > live > with and I know that I’m bipolar and that I wasn’t "crazy" in thinking > that > I was manic-depressive all those years even as a child. > I’m glad you’ve been able to find out what your disorder is about, and thta > your diagnosis has been corrected. > Thanks everyone in advance for any help, advice, or if you have any > questions feel free to ask them. I’ll be happy to answer them as best way > I > can. > Keep posting hon > Lots of hugs, > TK

Response:

"AmysAngels" wrote > Thanks, TK…   I appreciate everything….especially the hugs.  I need all > the hugs I can get right now.  :)      {{{{{{TK}}}}}}     Having a little > bit of a hard time, but I’m dealing with it, ya know.

So sorry to hear that hon… How are things today…? Wanna talk about what’s difficult at the moment? *

Related Posts